SVH #68: The Love Bet

5 Mar

lovebet

Estimated Elapsed Time: 3 weeks

Summary/Overview:

Elizabeth gets it into her pretty little head that Dana Larson, who has announced she’s given up on love, should totally date Aaron Dallas, who claims he’s too busy to find love.  She bets Todd that she can get them together.  Todd disagrees, but offers to help.  He also bets her that she can’t do it.  The loser has to grant the winner three wishes.  This entire premise is so fucked that I can’t even begin to dissect it.

At any rate, the two conspire to get their friends gossiping about how Dana likes Aaron and Aaron maybe likes Dana within earshot of the two, and then they invite them both to go see a movie at the Plaza.  The two seem to blush a lot around each other, so Liz feels like her plan is working.  Then it turns out that they actually have things to talk about.  Aaron tells Dana all about soccer, and she tells him all about songwriting, which she is apparently very good at because she wrote a song called “Fed Up With Love” and it’s not about the Federal Reserve Bank, despite my sincere hopes that it was.

The two continue to go out with Liz and Todd on what amounts to friend dates because neither one of them will shut up about how they’re through with love even though they’re totally having eye sex with each other all the time.  Then Dana gets a card from a secret admirer and shows it to Liz.  Dana tells her she’s going to be honest with Aaron and tell him how she feels.  Liz recognizes the handwriting as Todd’s and urges her to keep her feelings to herself and let Aaron be the first to speak it.  But Dana doesn’t listen, and tells Aaron about the card.  He tells her he didn’t send it and Dana is embarrassed and literally runs away.

Meanwhile, Liz blows up at Todd about the card.  She accuses him of intentionally sabotaging the set-up.  He’s not smart enough for that, of course, so he gets mad at her, too.  Whatever.  They’re so steady in their relationship until one of them farts and the other freaks out.  It’s hard to care.

There’s a Battle of the Bands at school, and the Droids are facing off against a couple of other bands, including SVH’s new band, Baja Beat.  The band has token black male student Andy Jenkins in it.  This doesn’t really matter now, but it will in the next book, so whatever.  The other bands are local, as well.

Anyway, right before the Droids perform, Aaron finds Dana and tells her that he’s totally into her.  They kiss, she sings, the Droids win.  Then they write notes to Todd and Liz, pretending to be Todd and Liz to get them to make up.  Everyone is happy in their heteronormative little bubbles.

The B-Plot involves Jessica getting pissed about Aaron getting serious with someone other than her because she likes to keep him in her rotation.  Again, that is literally her thought process in this novel.  So she tries to volunteer as a roadie for Baja Beat, thinking supporting the competition might make her feel better, but they don’t need help.  Andy tells her to try Spontaneous Combustion.  Spy, the leader of that band, sounds promising on the phone, so she enlists the help of Lila.  Turns out the dude is not hot, and kind of a letch.  Whatever.  This is literally the secondary plot in this book.  It goes nowhere.

Trivia/Fun Facts:

  • Battle of the Bands contenders: The Droids, Baja Beat, Spontaneous Combustion, Suede Men.
  • Todd gives Liz what he calls “The Todd Wilkins Deluxe Smooch” and I puked in my mouth.

Memorable Quotes:

  •  “‘Having more competition will give me an excuse to spend more time writing songs and performing with The Droids,’ Dana went on. ‘Since I gave up love, the band has really become my life!'” (3)
  • “Enid agreed. ‘People don’t blush over people they don’t find attractive.  They yawn.'” (20) ENID WOULD BE THE EXPERT THERE.

A (Totally Unqualified) Critical Analysis:

It’s hard to care about this one enough to really dissect it.  I remember liking Dana Larson a lot when I was little, but I suspect that was because she wore weird clothes and sang in a band–both things I desperately wanted to do.  Now, I think she’s sort of boring and lame.  I’ve always felt this way about Aaron Dallas, so it’s nice that some things never change.

But I do think it’s completely stupid that Liz and Todd make a bet that involves granting the other three wishes and none of the suggested wishes are remotely interesting in any way.  Like, Todd jokes he needs his car washed and waxed.  Liz says she would’ve liked a dozen roses and someone to carry her books for a week, then changes her mind and asks him to never fight with her about something so trivial again.  GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE, LIZ.  THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT ALL YOUR FIGHTS LOOK LIKE.

UGH.

Next up: #69 Friend Against Friend.  Racism.  This is is going to be painful.  Do they have critical race theory in Sweet Valley?

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One Response to “SVH #68: The Love Bet”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. SVH Magna Edition: Elizabeth’s Secret Diary, Vol. II | A Critical Analysis of Sweet Valley's Most Famous Twins - August 24, 2015

    […] wait, there’s more.  Liz and Todd break up again, and then Sweet Valley deals with both racism (and actual hate crimes but whatever, right?) and […]

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