Tag Archives: george fowler

SVH #98: The Wedding

6 Jun

thewedding

Estimated Elapsed Time: 5-6 weeks

Summary/Overview:

Lila throws a party to show off her estranged mother to all her friends but then has a meltdown in the bathroom when she realizes that Grace still doesn’t plan to stay in Sweet Valley.  She thinks mean thoughts about her mother’s boyfriend, a man named Pierre who exhibits the worst stereotypes about French people.  But she isn’t the only one who thinks he’s sort of a letch, because all her friends make comments about it.

When Amy calls her the next day to tell her why she left the party in such a hurry, Lila is stunned.  It seems that Pierre came onto Amy, and then he groped her chest.  That’s sexual assault, asshole.  Lila assures Amy that it’s not her fault and tells her she’ll deal with the situation.  But then she decides to not tell her mother what he’s done, figuring she can find another way to get rid of him. Um, what?

Lila and Pierre spend a day together, and it’s like straight out of The Parent Trap.  She takes him to a notoriously terrible diner for breakfast, makes him go surfing, carry her shopping bags, and play her in a rousing game of tennis.  Then she gets him drunk on scotch at lunch so that he passes out when they get home.  She locks him in a closet and goes to dinner without him.  There, George proposes to Grace, who accepts.  They barely even notice a drunken Pierre make a scene at the front of the restaurant.  Lila tells Pierre to get lost or she’ll tell Grace what he did to Amy.

She and Grace start planning the wedding of the century, and then they have the wedding at the Fowler estate.  Everyone is very happy.

Jessica is still super miserable about Sam’s death and thinks about how she’s only dating Todd (also miserable) to make Elizabeth feel pain.  She knows she doesn’t love him (and won’t ever) and that he doesn’t love her.  When Todd breaks up with her one night, she realizes she’s all alone. She visits Sam’s gravestone and cries a lot, then decides to start living her life.  She’ll start by planning a charity dirt bike rally in his name.

At the Sam Woodruff Memorial Dirt Bike Rally, Jessica gives a rousing and moving speech about drunk driving before starting the race.  A latecoming entry who goes by the name “Black Lightning” wins the race by a hair, and when Jessica hands him the trophy, she falls head over heels for him.  It’s James, who Margo has paid to get information on the Wakefields.  The two begin dating, and Jessica doesn’t think it’s weird at all that he’s obsessed with taking her picture and asking tons of personal questions.

Elizabeth is slowing getting back into the swing of her life.  She and Enid study at the library and then go to the Dairi Burger.  Elizabeth is feeling pretty good until she runs into Sam’s best friend, who basically tells her that she’s a shitty person to be moving on so quick.  Elizabeth continues to feel grateful she’s free and rebuffs attempts by Todd to reconcile.  Although she dances with him at the Fowler wedding, she excuses herself quickly.

Margo is in Sweet Valley and staying in an old woman’s guest house.  She looks up the Wakefields in the phone book and calls the number only to hang up.  She spies on the family as they leave for work and school one day and discovers that she will have a brother when she joins the family.  She meets James at Kelly’s bar and offers to pay him money to spy on the Wakefields.  She also applies for a job as a caterer for the Fowler’s wedding, but it requires her to bump off someone already on the list.  So she runs over the woman with her car and then ditches it in the woods.  She works the wedding reception and creeps on everyone.

Meanwhile, Josh is still hot on her trail.  He follows leads from Los Angeles to San Diego and then makes a connection that Margo is in Sweet Valley after a train conductor tells him she was reading the Sweet Valley News.

Trivia/Fun Facts:

  • The Fowler mansion has an original Picasso hanging in the living room
  • The Lone Fighter, a movie starring a foreign hunk named Jean-Paul Bertrand, is all the rage
  • The Wave Cafe has live music every Sunday. This is apparently a popular hangout we’ve never heard of before.
  • Sam’s middle name was Benjamin.
  • This is the first book where Steven goes to SVU instead of “a nearby university”

Memorable Quotes:

 

  • “‘Yeah,’ Lila said skeptically. ‘The other driver wasn’t to blame for Elizabeth’s drinking and driving.'” (7)
  • Pierre will regret ever meeting Lila Fowler. Lila chuckled demonically. If he survives what I have in store for him!” (84)
  • “If the trial had taught her one lesson, it was that she’d have to start looking out for herself.” (96) [Um, what trial was she a part of? That was her takeaway?!]

A (Totally Unqualified) Critical Analysis:

Apart from being a little disturbed by how weirdly nonchalant Lila was about Amy’s sexual assault–which, by the way, was horrifying–there’s not a ton to snark on here, in terms of how crazy things are for a Sweet Valley book.  I do think the George-and-Grace-get-engaged thing is a little compressed, timeline wise, but whatever.  It’s not like these idiots have ever exercised restraint before.

And I still find it odd that Margo thinks her life will be perfect once she’s in Elizabeth’s place.  Like, I don’t understand any of her thoughts about this.  I understand that she’s a crazy person and therefore not rational, but the ghost writers have made her so mercurial and unpredictable I don’t understand for a second how anyone would believe that she could pull it off for more than a few minutes.*

Can’t wait to see what happens next!

*I mean, don’t get me wrong: I know we aren’t supposed to, because this is Sweet Valley.  But still.

Advertisements

SVH #95: The Morning After

30 May

the morning after

Estimated Elapsed Time: 3 weeks

Summary/Overview:

With the start of these new mini-series books, the narration tends to jump between people more than in previous books.  Therefore, my recaps are going to look a little different.

Liz is having recurring nightmares about a girl who looks exactly like her and Jessica trying to kill her.  This girl has dark hair.  She’s also completely miserable about having killed Sam.  Totally alienated at school, the only person who will talk to her is Enid.  She can’t figure out why Todd is avoiding her, and she can’t figure out what happened the night of the dance.  She’s not sure if she was drunk at the prom, which is weird, because wouldn’t the police test her blood alcohol level?

It’s a couple of weeks before the police show up at the Wakefield house and interrogate Elizabeth in front of her whole family.  Jessica sits idly by while they ask Elizabeth about the alcohol she drank at the dance, and then they tell Elizabeth that she’s under arrest for involuntary manslaughter.  They lead her out but then tell Ned he can drive her to the police station.  These police are the worst.

Jessica is devastated following the loss of Sam.  She refuses to speak to Elizabeth and cries a lot.  Instead of going to the memorial service Sam’s dirtbike friends are throwing, she goes to the cemetery where she cries a lot and blames herself for the accident.  Meanwhile, Todd starts hanging around her, because he’s clearly worried about her.  She continues to be withdrawn around her friends.

Bruce can’t stop thinking about the girl who helped him the night of the Big Mesa/Sweet Valley rumble.  Her name is Pamela Robertson, and she goes to Big Mesa.  He finds out that she plays tennis there, so he stalks her practices until he can talk to her.  Despite a bunch of people dropping hints that Pamela is known as a slut, he’s super interested in her and asks her out.  At the end of the first date, they both admit that they’re falling in love.  When Bruce gets ready to see her again, Roger tells him that he’s heard some not great things about Pamela.  He brushes this off until Amy confirms the rumors at lunch one day.  As a result, he’s a total dick to Pamela on their next date, but then feels bad about it and goes over to her house the next morning to apologize.  But when he gets there, he sees that she’s getting out of a car and kisses another boy! He’s furious.

Lila is still dealing with serious post-traumatic shock from when John Pfeifer tried to rape her.  In the aftermath of accusing Nathan the counselor of the same thing, she has a meeting with Principal Cooper, Nathan, and her father.  It’s there she comes to the realization that Nathan didn’t try to hurt her, and she apologizes and cries a bunch.  Her father’s unsure how to deal with her, and after realizing how screwed up she is, he tells her he’s sending for her mother, Grace, in Paris.  Lila breaks down in tears, thanking him.

Olivia is still taking classes at that art school where she met James in her super special book.  James isn’t in the picture any more, having accepted a scholarship to paint in Paris, but Olivia is still at it, thinking about how lonely she is.  But she’s also a super talented artist, because one of her paintings was in a student art show and now there’s a buyer interested in it.  This buy is contingent on Olivia giving a speech at some art conference.  She tells all this to Nicholas Morrow over coffee, and then they both lament the state of their love lives.  The two decide to set each other up on dates.  Olivia gets the brilliant idea to submit Nicholas as a possible contestant on a new show called Hunks.

When Olivia shows up to give the art speech, though, she finds herself at a random mansion where a boy from her art class is waiting for her.  He tells her he made the whole thing up, and instead of running for the hills from this crazy person who clearly wants to murder her and wear her like a dress, Olivia is intrigued by this Harry Minton person.

Margo: Is a new character, a foster girl living in Long Island who decides to listen to the voice in her head and embark on a westward journey.  In order to do so, she kills her five-year-old foster sister by pouring kerosene all over the kitchen and then telling her to use a metal knife to get her toast out of the toaster.  She leaves after watching the house burn with Nina inside it.  Then she decides to call herself Michelle and buys a one-way ticket to Cleveland.  She gets a job as a babysitter for a family with a little boy named Georgie.  She starts stealing from Georgie’s mother, and the voice tells her she has to go to California.

Trivia/Fun Facts:

  • According to this book, Margo’s been in 10 different foster homes by the age of 16.
  • Bruce repeatedly refers to Pamela Robertson as “Cinderella,” and it is never not creepy.
  • The English classes are reading Moby Dick.
  • Pamela’s favorite old movie is Philadelphia Story

Memorable Quotes:

  • “Jessica suddenly looked up. ‘Can’t you people talk about anything important?’ she cried.” (40)
  • “‘Well, for one thing,’ she explained, ‘Elizabeth Wakefield, of all people, was acting possessed.'” (70)
  • “What I know about teenage boys would curl your hair, lady, Margo bragged silently.” (162)
  • “‘I don’t think it’s wise for my daughter to answer questions like this without an attorney present,’ Ned Wakefield said.” (200)

A (Totally Unqualified) Critical Analysis:

There are so many things about this book that make absolutely no sense.  But two things stood out to me about this one: the handling of Lila’s accusations about Nathan and the handling of the investigation into Sam’s death.

Firstly, let’s focus on the Lila situation, which is really sad.  If there’s something to appreciate about how truly dumb this book and the series as a whole is, is that this story gets some consistency.  Lila is really, really screwed up because of what happened to her.  She’s still dealing with it, and it’s actually not that out of the realm of possibility that she’d misinterpret what Nathan was trying to do that night.

But instead of dealing with this in a way that makes any sense (remember, the police were involved at the end of the last book), Chrome Dome Cooper calls a meeting with Lila, her father, and Nathan.  There are no police, and Cooper acts as a mediator, asking for Lila’s story while Nathan is in the room.  In what reality does a victim of sexual assault have to give testimony for the first time with the accused in the room?  It’s so fucked.  It makes no sense.  But they wrap this up quickly so we can get to the ridiculous Elizabeth story.

Which brings me to the second issue here.  Elizabeth states in the middle of the book that she can’t imagine she was drunk, which makes no sense, because she would have been treated for injuries in the hospital after the car crash and then interviewed by police.  There is NO FREAKING WAY that the police would wait weeks to question her about the accident.  So when they show up at the house and ask about her blood alcohol level, which they apparently DID test at the scene, she’s like, “I don’t know how I got drunk!”

None of this makes any sense.  It just doesn’t.  It’s this bizarre plot hole that shouldn’t be there because the book is contradicting itself over the course of like, 50 pages.  After they question her, one of the cops says that they’ve been trying to handle this investigation delicately because she’s a good student and her dad is a prominent lawyer in the community.  I’m sure that will be of great comfort to DEAD SAM WOODRUFF’S PARENTS.  Jesus Christ.

What will happen in the next book?  Will Elizabeth end up in jail forever?  I WISH.

Super Star: Lila’s Story

30 Jan

lilasstory Estimated Elapsed Time: Something like 6-8 weeks?  SUMMER VACAY, Y’ALL.

Summary/Overview:

Lila’s got her panties in a twist because her dad is seeing a new woman and not spending enough time with her as a result. The woman in question is a beautiful lady named Joan Borden (prove it), and it turns out that she has a daughter named Jacqueline who is about Lila’s age.  Lila’s not thrilled about any of this, and she’s even less thrilled when her father sort of forces her to hang out with Jacqueline.  Lila’s sure that there’s something off about Joan and Jackie, and she decides she has to prove that they’re money-grubbing mooches.

At first, her hunch about Joan and Jackie is just based on speculation, but she starts to notice that for wealthy people, they let George Fowler pick up the check all the time.  Joan is so sweet that it crosses over into fake territory, and Jacqueline’s constant copying of Lila isn’t just cloying and annoying–it’s also creepy.

Things get worse when Joan and George return from a vacation and announce their plans to get married.  Apparently they got a deal on a rush-order wedding, because the nuptials are in three weeks.  When Lila overhears Joan talking about the fact that she’s only marrying George for his money, Lila goes to her father and tries to reason with him.  George won’t hear it, though, because Lila has been complaining about the Bordens since they arrived in her life.

Lila comes up with an elaborate plan to plant microphones in the room and get Joan to admit that she’s only in it for the alimony (someone should explain to Joan that that’s not how it works).  Lila manages to convince George with the recorded confession just in time, since Joan ‘fesses up minutes before the wedding ceremony.  George calls the whole thing off and everyone celebrates Lila.

The B-plot involves Lila’s crush on a guy named Evan.  Evan just happens to be dating a girl named Sonia, but Lila decides he’s a better match for her.  She enlists the help of Bruce Patman, because Sonia used to have a huge crush on him.  The two conspire to break them up, and because they’re awesome, they succeed.  There’s some more plot about car racing and money and favors, but it doesn’t really matter.

What does matter is that Evan has totally been cheating on Lila with Jacqueline.  Whatever, whatever, Lila ends up dating Toby, who won the drag race.  I don’t really get it, but this was all part of the story, I guess.

Trivia/Fun Facts:

  • Lila is 5’7″, which makes her slightly taller than the twins (who come in at–say it together now–5’6″).
  • According to Jessica, the sexiest car on Earth is a Lancia. You’re welcome.
  • Lila and Jacqueline have to wear peach-colored bridesmaid dresses with “little girl necklines and high waists.”  BARF.

Memorable Quotes:

  • “‘Your father’s putting us in the most gorgeous guest suite. Each of us has a bedroom and a bathroom.'” (86) [blogger’s note: George and Joan aren’t sleeping together?]
  • “There was no way Evan would borrow money from her unless he felt as serious about her as she did about him.” (114)

(Totally Unqualified) Critical Analysis:

This is the first of the Super Star books, which focus on secondary characters in the Sweet Valley world.  If all the Super Star books were like this one, I’d be a happy camper, because Lila is awesome (but I’m preaching to the choir, right?).   Even though she does some pretty shady things in this book, she still can’t hold a candle to Jessica’s constant sociopathic behavior.  And it turns out that Lila’s right about everything regarding the Bordens, so all is forgiven, right?

The only thing worth picking on in this book is how weird it is that we’re supposed to believe that George and Joan aren’t sleeping together before the wedding.  There’s nothing to indicate that the Fowlers nor the Bordens are particularly religious, and yet when Joan and Jacqueline stay over, Jacqueline talks about the fact that she and her mother have been given rooms in the guest wing.

Did this bother anyone else?  Like, why go to the trouble of pretending that sex isn’t happening?  I realize the original audience was fairly young, but there’s a ton of racier stuff in the other books.  Why wouldn’t George and Joan be sleeping together?  Why does this bother me so much?!

At any rate, I guess that helps explain their race down the aisle: they wanted to get it on.  Or whatever.