Tag Archives: not a recap

10 Book Recap: 91-100, + Magna Edition: A Night to Remember

16 Jun

Another ten-ish books down, Gentle Readers.

This section of books saw: ANOTHER costume ball, issues of race/racism, blended families, two weddings, a prom, a car accident, several murders, a psychopath on the loose, a doppelganger, a trial, another Christmas, a visit from a prince, and much more.

Let’s break it down, shall we?

Estimated Time Elapsed: Something like 37 weeks

Major School Events:

  • Jungle Prom Dance
  • Charity Dirt Bike Rally
  • Olivia’s Costume Party
  • Lila’s mother’s party, Lila’s New Year’s Eve Party
  • Whitman-Walker Wedding
  • Fowler Wedding
  • SVH puts on Macbeth

Major Wakefield Family Events:

  • The twins fight over prom queen title
  • Elizabeth totals the Jeep, kills Sam (whatever she’s totally guilty)
  • Liz and Todd break up
  • Jessica dates Sam and then dates James, both of whom die
  • Steven moves out of the dorms and into an apartment

By the Numbers:

  • # of guys Jessica dates: 2
  • # of guys Elizabeth dates: 1
  • # of life-threatening situations: 25, at least
  • # of dances: 1
  • # of parties: 10-15
  • # of deaths: 5+
  • Major Holidays: Christmas, New Year’s Eve

I can’t wait to see what kinds of crazy shenanigans the twins and their friends get up to next!

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10 Book Recap: 81-90, + Super Thriller: Murder on the Line and Saga: The Wakefield Legacy

16 May

Another ten-ish books down, Gentle Readers.

This section of books saw: a costume ball, an attempted rape, racial issues, PBA pranks, the rise and fall of Club X, an international visit of teachers, summer vacation stories (two of them), teens in peril, Liz and Todd breakups, the rise of Sam Woodruff, and much more.

Let’s break it down, shall we?

Estimated Time Elapsed: Something like 40weeks

Major School Events:

  • Love in Bloom Dance
  • Dirt Bike Rally
  • Beauty Pageant
  • Huge track meet
  • Charity Ice Cream Event for Cheeleaders
  • SVH talk show interview
  • Photography club

Major Wakefield Family Events:

  • Elizabeth and Jessica get a new car – a Jeep!
  • Elizabeth joins the photography club at school
  • Jessica is briefly kidnapped by a criminal
  • Jessica wins talk show guest spot
  • Jessica wins Miss Teen Sweet Valley
  • Jessica and Elizabeth start a letter-writing business
  • Jessica starts dating Sam
  • Liz briefly acts as Editor for The Oracle

By the Numbers:

  • # of guys Jessica dates: 2-3, depending on timeline stuff
  • # of guys Elizabeth dates: 2
  • # of life-threatening situations: 6, at least
  • # of dances: at least 3
  • # of parties: at least 8
  • # of deaths: Tons, but virtually all happen in the past
  • Major Holidays: None?

I can’t wait to see what kinds of crazy shenanigans the twins and their friends get up to next!

Sweet Valley Recap: Books #71-80, + SVH Saga #1: The Wakefields of Sweet Valley and Super Star #4: Olivia’s Story

14 Apr

Another ten-ish books down, Gentle Readers.

This section of books saw: a beauty pageant, a talk show appearance, a drug-ring sting operation, a historical account of the Wakefield family, tons of parties and dances, the introduction of Sam Woodruff, another Christmas vacation, lots of loss, drug use, anorexia, and much, much more.

Let’s break it down, shall we?

Estimated Time Elapsed: Something like 37 weeks

Major School Events:

  • Love in Bloom Dance
  • Dirt Bike Rally
  • Beauty Pageant
  • Huge track meet
  • Charity Ice Cream Event for Cheeleaders
  • SVH talk show interview
  • Photography club

Major Wakefield Family Events:

  • Elizabeth and Jessica get a new car – a Jeep!
  • Elizabeth joins the photography club at school
  • Jessica is briefly kidnapped by a criminal
  • Jessica wins talk show guest spot
  • Jessica wins Miss Teen Sweet Valley

By the Numbers:

  • # of guys Jessica dates: 3
  • # of guys Elizabeth dates: just Todd, I think
  • # of life-threatening situations: 5, at least
  • # of dances: at least 3
  • # of parties: at least 8
  • # of deaths: Tons, but virtually all happen in the past
  • Major Holidays: Christmas, again

I can’t wait to see what kinds of crazy shenanigans the twins and their friends get up to next!

Sweet Valley Recap: Books #61-70, + Super Star(s) Bruce and Lila

14 Mar

Another ten-ish books down, Gentle Readers.

This section of books saw: a wedding, a separation and reconciliation, a run for mayor (and subsequent withdrawal), catfishing, tons of break-ups and make-ups, several near-death experiences including a near-drowning and a hang-gliding accident, a Valentine’s Day dance, a costume party, ANOTHER Christmas vacation, a New Year’s Eve Party, a fiery car crash, and too much more to mention.

Let’s break it down, shall we?

Estimated Time Elapsed: Something like 35-40 weeks

Major School Events:

  • Moon Beach Surfing Contest
  • Valentine’s Day Dance
  • Pi Beta Alpha Dance
  • Football try-outs
  • Christmas Vacation

Major Wakefield Family Events:

  • Jessica tries to start a t-shirt business
  • Elizabeth takes surfing lessons; Steven takes up hang gliding before almost dying
  • Family vacation to Lake Tahoe
  • Ned and Alice temporarily separate; reconcile
  • Ned runs for mayor

By the Numbers:

  • # of guys Jessica dates: 6. It must be her slow period.
  • # of guys Elizabeth dates: 4
  • # of life-threatening situations: 4
  • # of dances: at least 2
  • # of parties: at least 6
  • # of deaths: None happen on-page. But there’s a dead brother.
  • Major Holidays: Valentine’s Day, Christmas, New Year’s Eve

I can’t wait to see what kinds of crazy shenanigans the twins and their friends get up to next!

Another Post Where I Talk About How I’m a Bad Blogger

2 May

I know, you guys.  I know.  I haven’t updated in forever and a day.  I just wanted to let you know that this semester has absolutely crushed me, and I plan on updating again soon.  Like, really soon.  I’m embarrassed about how long it’s been.

In the meantime, have you guys seen the covers for the Sweet Valley Confidential ebooks?  They’re up on the Sweet Valley Facebook page.  Snark Valley has a great rundown on the books and what readers can expect.

So from what I understand, the series will be produced as 6 ebooks, released every two weeks, starting in June.  A compilation of all the stories will be released in October.  At least, that’s my guess.

It’s kind of genius, really: release the book in what is essentially chapters for $1.99 each every two weeks, and then release a hardcover version a few months later.  More than one reader (read: me) will end up purchasing the damn thing twice.

What do you think?  Have you had enough of the bastardized version of Sweet Valley Confidential already, or are you game for more?  I’m not sure I’m game, but morbid curiosity is going to dictate my purchasing decisions.

(A real recap soon, I promise.)

 

What do you call delusions when they’re masquerading as totally legitimate thought?

21 Apr

I stumbled across this piece in the New York Times via gossip_oracle’s blog, 137 Ways to Be CruelHer post on the issue is better than mine, but I still have to add my own voice to the issue.

The article starts with a basic update on the twins and how it’s all scandalous and shit that they’re older and having sex and drinking.  There’s nothing new, here, but the first quote in the article from Francine Pascal irritates me:

“I’ve had people who have questioned Elizabeth having orgasms,” said Francine Pascal, the creator of the original series and author of the new book. “And I say to them, if they’re listening, would you deny a 27-year-old woman the right to have an orgasm?”

Um, I’ve followed the coverage of the release of this book pretty closely (read: obsessively), and I don’t remember seeing anyone trying to deny Elizabeth the right to an orgasm.  I’ve seen people questioning the need for the reader to have to hear about the orgasms (and the fact that she cries after them), but I think you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who thinks she doesn’t deserve them.

St. Martin’s publisher makes a comment about how there’s always going to be a group of fans who don’t want things to change.  Pascal expands on this, saying:

Sweet Valley was their adolescence and I’ve done some very radical things…But you are different from that inchoate person of 16, and you have to allow that change to those characters.

I’m going to talk about my reaction to that statement in a minute, but let’s get through the article first, okay?  The editor of the book, Hilary Teeman, adds her own opinion:

“You remember how innocent and chaste they were,” said Ms. Teeman, who read the books when she was younger. “But when you make it an adult novel, naturally some of that innocence has to go away. This is a novel for adults, and we expect these characters to grow up and be adults.”

Okay.  Obviously, there’s SO MUCH WRONG here that it’s hard to know where to begin.  Like gossip_oracle, I take issue with the entire statement about these characters being adults, because they still aren’t.  The characters from Sweet Valley have literally been growing up since 1983, and they still are emotionally-stunted cry-babies.

The problem is that the book isn’t really all that enjoyable for fans.  It’s depressing, both in content and structure.  Sometimes when I think about how bad the writing is in this book I have a physical reaction.  It’s clunky and awkward and full of inaccuracies.  For a woman who brags about having kept the “Sweet Valley Bible” for all the years that ghost writers were working on the books, the woman might have considered consulting it when actually writing the book.

What’s more is that Pascal doesn’t seem to be in touch at all with the people who continue to be devoted fans.  There are a lot of us out there who are still reading the books and snarking on the content.  Say what you will about the snark, but at some point, you have to recognize that the amount of time we put into these blogs and posts is indicative of a genuine affection for the series and its characters.  Not delivering on a promise of updating us on what the characters have been up to is not okay.  (And yes, I stand by this statement.  SVC did not update us on the characters we know.  It gave us different characters–perhaps lobotomized ones.)

I don’t know what else there is to say, really.  The concept of Pascal writing another book about these characters makes me kind of sick.  It’s not about “giving the people what they want” so much as “making fistfuls of money,” and that’s really depressing.

What do you guys think?  Am I taking this too personally?  Talk back.

See also:
Sweet Valley, New York
Snark Valley’s Insanely Awesome Detailed Recap of SVC

On Reading Sweet Valley Confidential

4 Apr

My copy arrived (late) in the mail on Saturday, and I’m about halfway done with it.  It’s slow-going, not because it’s a particularly challenging read, but because it’s so bad, you guys.  It’s so bad.

Are you reading it?  Did you read it?  What do you think?

I’ll be back with a full recap when I’m done.  I have a lot to say about it but want to wait until after I’m done to really say it.