Tag Archives: super star

SVH Super Star: Todd’s Story

2 May

todds story

Estimated Elapsed Time: just over 2 weeks

Summary/Overview:

It’s summer vacation in Sweet Valley yet again, and everyone is talking about how they’re going to be day camp counselors at Secca Lake for two weeks.  Elizabeth hopes that it will help reinvigorate her relationship with Todd, which she thinks has gotten stale lately.  Todd worries that his unpaid gig as a camp counselor won’t be enough to appease his father, who has been pushing for him to take an internship at Varitronics, the company he works for.  Liz watches them butt heads at a family dinner and wonders why Todd won’t stand up to his father more.

When the gang goes to the day camp training, Todd is shocked to see Kevin Holmes, a boy he crossed paths with in Vermont.  Back in Vermont, Todd stopped Kevin in the midst of mugging and old man in an alley and sent him to jail (it’s referred to as “prison” several times, but this was within the last year, so is it really?).  At the trial, Kevin’s dad tried to bribe Todd, and then after his sentencing, Kevin swore to Todd he’d get his revenge.  Todd wonders if Kevin is also the person who has been calling him and hanging up without saying anything.

Instead of telling Liz or Jessica or, I don’t know, the camp director, Todd decides to keep it to himself, especially after Kevin pretends to not know Todd.  He worries about Kevin not having changed at all and having sinister motives, but everyone else seems to really like him, including Todd’s parents, who keep inviting him over for dinner.  Turns out Kevin’s interested in an internship at Varitronics, and Todd’s dad is over the moon about it.  While Kevin charms everyone else, he keeps making weird threats to Todd about not letting it slip about his past.  Todd is completely distracted by this, and his refusal to confide in Liz drives a wedge further between them.

Meanwhile, camp starts and Todd continues to obsess about Kevin.  Kevin starts flirting or dating Jessica, and Todd worries about how this brings him closer to Liz.  No one can understand why Todd is so cold to Kevin, and there are several moments when Todd completely loses his cool around him, including an unfortunate moment after Kevin beat Todd to a drowning child.  Todd snaps that not everything is a competition, but it seems like no one else thought that was an appropriate thing to say.  By this point, Liz has told Todd she thinks they need a breather, and they are broken up (again).  Todd is miserable.

Kevin lies about a bunch of stuff, and while people seem to sort of catch the lies, they let them go, which is weird.  Also, things start disappearing around the camp, like Liz’s lavaliere necklace and Cara’s keys.  Todd continues to withdraw into himself, further alienating himself from his friends.

Then Kevin starts telling people that Todd had a reputation back in Vermont as kind of a bully.  He tells people that he roughed up some basketball players, punched a teammate, and there were rumors that he maybe sexually assaulted a girl.  Because Todd’s friends are literally the dumbest, most gullible people on the planet, they believe Kevin’s story, even though they have known Todd for sixteen years.

Somehow, Kevin gets Liz to agree to a date with him, which pisses Jessica off to no end.  Liz goes on the date and is struck by how awful Kevin is when he’s by himself.  Obsessed with the sound of his own voice and with how much he hates Todd, Liz realizes that he isn’t as cool as she first thought.  After the date, she goes home to worry about stuff, and Kevin goes out to mug one of the other camp counselors at Secca Lake.

Todd witnesses the mugging, which is just one in a string of recent muggings in the otherwise crime-free Sweet Valley.  The next day, he tells Winston and Aaron about his suspicions and what really happened in Vermont, and he feels better.  He decides to go to the police the following day.  Only, he doesn’t get to do that, because Kevin has framed Todd for the muggings, I guess?  They seem to think the fact that his pen shows up on the beach means he’s guilty?  Despite the fact that this is where everyone has been working for the past two weeks?  Whatever, I don’t care.  Todd gets arrested.

At the final BBQ party for the camp, Kevin asks Liz to go for a walk.  She agrees for some reason, and the two take a hike alone.  At the same time, Jessica finds Liz’s lavaliere in Kevin’s car and realizes that he’s been the stealing stealer all along!  She runs to tell her friends.

In the nature, Kevin tells Liz that he used to have a brother named Brent and that he accidentally killed him in a car crash.  He tells Liz this, and then he tries to kill Liz, because that’s the only way he can think to hurt Todd.  Luckily, Todd is out of jail and rushes into the scene in time to save Liz.  Kevin gets arrested, Liz and Todd are back together, and all is right with the world.  I guess.

Trivia/Fun Facts:

  • This book takes place in the summer, but it is after Todd has moved back from Vermont.  It is also after Cara Walker has moved to England, and yet she is here and still dating Steven.  Sam Woodruf is nowhere to be found, despite the fact that he and Jessica have been dating for a while now.  HELP ME FIGURE THIS OUT.
  • Almost 100 six-to-ten-year-olds enrolled in the summer camp.  Talk about a nightmare.
  • Kevin drives a black Mazda

Memorable Quotes:

  • “Kevin nodded. ‘My dad thinks everybody should be required to read The Wall Street Journal with their breakfast.'” (83)
  • “Maybe there was nothing behind them.  Maybe Kevin Holmes didn’t have a soul.” (97)
  • “‘No, he’s not lying,’ Aaron agreed. ‘He’d have no reason to lie.'” (134) Are you a fucking idiot, Aaron?
  • “No, Kevin must be innocent, Todd decided. A person simply couldn’t be one thing on the outside and something entirely different on the inside.” (151) WHAT THE HOLY FUCK IS HAPPENING HERE?

A (Totally Unqualified) Critical Analysis:

Here’s the thing about this completely ridiculous book: I remember liking this best of all the Super Stars.  That’s not surprising, really.  It has the most interesting premise: working as camp counselors during summer break, dealing with a mysterious new person who displays signs of being an actual psychopath, etc.  But reading this book now, I’m struck by how completely fucking stupid everyone is in the book.

Talk about plot points! Everything that happens here is meant to further the plot and not the characters.  Todd doesn’t tell anyone that he knows Kevin from before, ostensibly because he’s scared if he does, Kevin will retaliate.  Okay, fine, but shouldn’t the camp director have run a basic background check on anyone being left alone with children for any period of time?  Is that not a lawsuit waiting to happen?  If Kevin had served any jail time, which we are led to believe, he would have had a record.

Moving on: Todd continues to not tell anyone despite his suspicions.  He puts off going to the police for days, despite his having witnessed one of the muggings.  All of this is way, way too convenient for the plot we end up with.  I can’t help but think that the ghostwriter of this one thought that the readers were really, really dumb, because we aren’t allowed to think anything about anything here.

Also, the completely ridiculous rationalizations of everyone throughout the novel make no sense whatsoever.  Why would everyone believe Kevin over Todd?  Why does Todd continue to doubt Kevin’s motivations and behavior, despite the fact that he has continually threatened him throughout the course of the book?  Do these people have selective amnesia?  Am I the crazy one?

 

SVH Super Star: Olivia’s Story

11 Apr

olivia's story

Estimated Elapsed Time: 1 month

Summary/Overview:

Olivia Davidson is obsessed with painting, and she’s particularly focused on abstract impressionism.  She’s taking classes at the Forester School, and it’s there that she meets devoted artist James Yates.  James is the definition of the starving artist, taking classes on scholarship and living in a tiny apartment, often forgoing dinner and wearing threadbare clothes.  All in the name of art, guys.  At any rate, the two start to spend time together, and despite the fact that James is an insufferable twat, Olivia likes him and feels challenged by his devotion to art.

But she’s feeling pressure at home to conform to more “normal” standards.  Her parents are the definition of conservative, and when her aunt June and cousin Emily come to stay with her family while Emily looks at colleges out west, Olivia feels even more like she doesn’t fit in.  It seems as though her straight-laced cousin has her entire life planned, and that freaks Olivia out.  So she asks her mom to get her a part-time job at Simpson’s Department Store, where she promptly runs into the owner’s son, Robert Simpson.  He lets her redo a display and admires her art, but when she shows him her paintings, the only ones he likes are the generic landscape ones.

Olivia continues to hang out with James, but when he brushes off their plans so he can do art, she goes with Robert to a country club party after asking her to dress down a bit.  It’s as awful as you’d expect, and she feels out of place.  However, she keeps making nearly no progress with James, and when she gives him his Christmas present (a paperweight with his initial) and he tells her it’s the emptiest and most meaningless present he’s even received, she storms out.  But then when Robert gives her a planner, she understands what James means and decides to eschew corporate life for a life of art.

Oh, I suppose it helps that her mother takes her aside one day and shows her the paintings from her youth, before she gave it up for a business degree.  She has a business degree and she’s a manager at a department store?  Really?  That was her life’s dream?  By the end of the story, Olivia and James are together because they love each other and Emily is thinking about going to school in California. I don’t know.   I hated this one.

The B-Plot, if you can call it that, involves Jessica and Elizabeth getting seasonal jobs at Simpson’s Department Store.  Jessica works in the children’s section and Liz wraps gifts.  Jessica sets her sights on Robert, but he’s really only interested in Olivia.  For whatever reason.

Trivia/Fun Facts:

  • Olivia outfit: black leotard and leggins, pink and yellow chiffon skirt, blue checked vest, and an Elvis record in her hair.
  • As if you didn’t know the timeline was fucked: it’s Christmas AGAIN, but Jessica mentions their summer internship at the paper.  FFS.
  • Emily wears a khaki-colored suit and blue espadrilles, because she’s forty

Memorable Quotes:

  • “‘Paintings are life,’ James answered seriously. ‘Everything else is unimportant–money, living in a fancy house, worrying about the little things.'” (19) 

A (Totally Unqualified) Critical Analysis:

This was a total slog for me to get through.  Sometimes I struggle with the regular books featuring tertiary characters, but this one had an extra 60 pages or so, and it was AWFUL.  Olivia isn’t interesting.  I remember her being more interesting as a child, but her wishy-washy feelings on everything in this one and complete lack of self awareness or a sense of humor make this a total bore.

Also, the twins have never felt so awkwardly inserted in a story line before.  There was no need for them to be in this one, apart from any fear that it wouldn’t be a “real” SVH novel without their presence.

Finally, is this like the 8th Christmas of their junior year or what?  I’d be willing to suspend some disbelief if there was even a mention of some of the events from past Christmas stories happening concurrently, but there isn’t.  It’s like each one of these Christmas books takes place in a vacuum.  These books are so weird!

SVH Super Star: Enid’s Story

12 Mar

enid

Estimated Elapsed Time: Roughly 2 weeks

Summary/Overview:

Inexplicably, it’s Christmastime in Sweet Valley once again, and Enid and Elizabeth are looking forward to a lot of time together over the holiday because Enid is single and Todd will be skiing with his family in Utah.  Enid is secretly thrilled that she’ll have Liz all to herself, but Liz is very upset about spending Christmas without Todd.  To try to cheer her up, Enid brings Liz to the Dairi Burger, where she ends up under the mistletoe with her ex, Jeffrey French.  The two share a kiss that’s supposed to be a joke but actually fires up Liz quite a bit.  That’s too bad, because it sort of looks like Jeffrey might be interested in Enid, as he invites her to go to the ice skating party with him the next day.

At first, Liz isn’t going to go to the party because she wants to mope about how she misses Todd.  But Jessica convinces her to go, and she FREAKS OUT when she sees Enid and Jeffrey skating together.  Liz believes that there’s something going on between them and Enid has been downplaying it.  Enid apologizes and Elizabeth accepts, but that doesn’t stop Enid from going to a movie with Jeffrey that night.  She’s pretty sure that he’s interested in her, too, but he keeps bringing up Liz.  When Enid stops by his house to give him his Christmas present, he wants to obsess over the fact that Elizabeth baked him cookies.  This upsets Enid, who realizes that her feelings for him are either completely one-sided, or he’s very confused about what he wants.

Wallowing in her pain, she goes out with a former friend from her wild-child days, Brian Saunders.  She ran into him at the ice-skating party, and then he called her and begged her to go out with him.  He swears he’s a changed man, and the two have a nice dinner at a Thai restaurant.  But then he wants to take her to a friend’s house, and though she’s hesitant, she agrees.  Turns out there’s a massive party happening, and Enid leaves a totally-drunk Brian and cabs it home.

Things go from bad to worse for her when she goes to meet her absent-father at the Recency Hotel.  They’re supposed to have lunch together, but when she gets there, he’s already at the bar, reeking of gin and drunk off his ass.  They have a horrible interaction and she runs home crying to her mother, who she promptly blames for her father’s drunkenness.  Her mother tells her that her father has a serious alcohol problem and the two sort of reconcile.

But Enid still feels bad about her dad and worse about Jeffrey.  She reluctantly goes to a Christmas Eve party with Jeffrey at her ex-boyfriend George Warren’s house, but when Jeffrey asks to take Liz aside Enid figures it’s because they’re getting back together.  They aren’t, though.  Jeffrey and Liz clarify their feelings of friendship for each other and part ways amicably.  When Jeffrey goes to find Enid, she’s dancing with Brian (why is he at this party?) and decides to leave with him to piss off Jeffrey.

The two end up drunk and stoned at Miller’s Point.  That escalated quickly.  Jessica brings her date up to the spot and sees Enid out of her mind blitzed, but instead of helping, she goes back to the party.  Meanwhile, both of Enid’s parents are worried about her.  Her dad is sober enough to go look for her, and tries Kelly’s Bar before heading up to Miller’s Point after Jessica spills the beans about what she saw to Liz.

Brian has been joyriding them around in his car even though Enid has begged for him to let her out.  He ends up crashing the car, flipping it over, and starting it on fire.  Luckily, Enid’s dad shows up and pulls her from the wreck before it combusts.  Brian and Enid’s dad are both badly burned, though.  Everyone ends up in the hospital for some reconciliation.

Lila throws a New Year’s Eve party and everyone is there.  Todd and Liz are reunited and Jeffrey and Enid kiss.  Their relationship is left completely undefined, which is good, because I’m pretty sure we will never hear of it again.

Trivia/Fun Facts:

  • Jessica references Dorothy Hamill when she talks about her own skating skills.  Jeffrey tells Enid she’ll soon skate like Sonja Henie.  Hello, dated references.
  • Enid’s gift ideas for Jeffrey’s mom: perfume, a scarf, a fancy cake plate that spins around and sings a song (she already has one), a magazine subscription
  • Enid’s Christmas present for Liz: heart-shaped pink satin box. Elizabeth’s present for Enid: a framed picture of her and Enid.

Memorable Quotes:

  • “Enid looked at Elizabeth affectionately. Elizabeth was always wonderful to be with. She was a warm and friendly girl, the one person everyone at school really liked.”  (2) [Blogger’s note: We’re on page two, and I’m already so creeped out I don’t know how I can go on.]
  • “‘That’s a great idea,’ Jeffrey said enthusiastically. ‘My mom’s always saying that feminism just means a woman gets to have two careers–one inside and one outside the home!'” (33)
  • “‘You’re grown up now, Enid. You should know that there’s nothing wrong with having a couple. Besides, I remember you used to do a little drinking yourself.'” (113)
  • Why do I even try? she wondered. What was the point of going straight and pulling myself together if this is where it gets me? At least before, I was too stoned to notice how miserable life can be.” (126)

A (Totally Unqualified) Critical Analysis:

There are a lot of reasons I dreaded reading this one, and most of them have to do with the fact that Enid is pretty much the worst character to get her own Super Star book.  I mean, I might hate Bruce Patman because I think he’s a misogynistic sociopath, but at least he’s kind of interesting at the same time.  Enid doesn’t even have that going for her, which is why I refer to her as the “dripmaster.”  What’s funny, or perhaps alarming, is that it’s pretty clear that the ghost writer didn’t think Enid was very interesting, either, because almost half of this book focuses on Elizabeth’s problems.  Isn’t this supposed to be all about Enid?  Isn’t this her moment to shine?  WRONG! LIZ HAS FEELINGS.

If you are able to separate out the fact that it seems as though Enid’s feelings for Elizabeth run deeper than simply platonic friendship, this book still isn’t that interesting.  Enid finally gets a shot at romance, and it’s with Elizabeth’s leftovers! What is it about this town that encourages such incestuous relationships between its teens?  Furthermore, what “best friend” would ever think it was okay to go after her best friend’s ex-boyfriend, especially when readers know how serious it was for Liz and Jeffrey?

I get that life happens and we can’t actually help who we are attracted to.  I understand, even that if we adhere to the series’ cannon, Enid set her sights on Jeffrey first–although wasn’t that at Liz’s insane urging, because she didn’t want to admit her feelings for Jeffrey?  I’m even willing to admit that maybe these girls are more emotionally mature than I am and could accept their best friend hooking up with their ex–but based on how easily they freak out about stupid stuff, I doubt it.

Super Star: Bruce’s Story

26 Feb

bruce

Estimated Elapsed Time: 6 long, grueling weeks.

Summary/Overview:

Apologies in advance for length: it’s a longer book and the story is ridiculously convoluted. 

Bruce and Roger are nervously awaiting the arrival of their grandfather, who is seventy but fairly spry.  He also still holds the family purse strings, I guess, because the entire family is on edge about this visit, which is six weeks long.  That’s not a visit so much as an internment, but okay.  At any rate, the family is throwing a 70th birthday bash for him, too.

After the party, Grandpa Patman announces that he’s going to host a contest for Roger and Bruce over the next four weeks while Mr. and Mrs. Patman are vacationing in Japan, the prize being control of the Patman empire.  OKAY THEN.  He gives each boy two thousand dollars in cash and tells them to invest it wisely.  Then he insists that both boys give up their credit cards and checkbooks for the month.  I don’t get it–is it an investment competition or a frugal-living one?  It can’t be both.  Bruce is horrified that a future he was once secure in is now up in the air and buckles down to win the thing.  Roger seems much less sure about this contest, and rightfully so, because it is LITERALLY THE DUMBEST THING EVER.

Bruce immediately buys concert tickets, gets in an expensive fender-bender, and then gambles away nearly all of his money.  He doesn’t seem to get the “investing” part of the contest.  Alternatively, Roger immediately invests $1500 dollars in some stocks for Robotech, a company that’s rising due to rumors of a takeover.  His stock soars for a while, and he feels invincible.  But then, surprise, it crashes, and he loses seven hundred dollars.

Meanwhile, Bruce is pursuing fellow hot senior Tracy Atkins, whose flattered but unsure she and Bruce have anything in common.  She prefers to spend her time sewing clothes and taking care of her little brother, who has a muscular disorder and goes to the Nicholson school, a special place for kids with disabilities.

BUT WAIT: the school is in dire financial straits and needs to raise $10,000 dollars or it faces closure.  She’s working with some other kids at Sweet Valley to raise money for the school.  Enter Harbor Days, a two-Saturday-long event that’s sort of like a carnival for vendors to sell food and goods and keep part of the profits while donating the rest to the school.  Bruce asks to help, in hopes of both impressing Tracy and also earning back the money he’s wasted.  Tracy suggests he write “The Bruce Patman Guide to Dating” and sell that [blogger’s note: I officially hope these two end up together because they are both INSANE].

Anyway, Bruce sabotages Roger’s first attempt at the Harbor Days sale by switching out his paint for water-soluble stuff and staging a water balloon fight near the painted hats so the colors run.  His dating guide sells like hot cakes, though, and he plans to secretly pocket all the money.  Roger totally knows it was Bruce and is super pissed, but whatever.  He plans to sell enlarged photos of people at the second day of the festival, and he swears his friend Lisa not to tell anyone.

Lisa, of course, tells Tracy, who tells Bruce.  But then Tracy gets suspicious of Bruce and follows him home, where she sees him about to tamper with the photo paper.  She’s mad, so she cries?  And runs away?  At any rate, she warns Roger, who confronts Bruce, who tells him that he thought about doing it but didn’t actually do it.  Whatever, I’m bored.

The second day of Harbor Days goes well, and Bruce sells homemade ice cream based on a recipe of Tracy’s grandma, even though the two are no longer on speaking terms.  Roger sells his photos.  The event raises just over three grand, which is way short of their projected fundraising efforts.  Everyone is sad, but then they get an anonymous donation and the school is saved! Hooray!

Grandpa Patman throws ANOTHER party to welcome back Mr. and Mrs. Patman and also to announce the winner of his STUPID contest.  When he goes to open both envelopes, though, he finds them empty, and he is LIVID.  Then Bruce and Roger tell their story about how they learned a valuable lesson on competition and family and gave all their money to the SAVE charity.  Whatever, they could have just donated that four grand at the start and saved me 200 pages.

Everyone wins!

Trivia/Fun Facts:

  • The Patman’s maids (one of?) is named Miranda.
  • Grandfather Patman’s two mottos: “Get rich and work hard.” What a charmer!
  • Grandfather Patman’s party has a Latin-American band (I’m not sure what that means) and Latin-American-themed food. Why?  WHY?
  • Tracy’s brother has some sort of “genetic muscular disorder” that is never named but referred to as such several times. WEIRD.

Memorable Quotes:

  • “Filled with contentment, Bruce settled back in his chair.  For just a minute, he was reminded that there was nothing better in the whole world than being Bruce Patman. Here he was, still in high school, and he could have anything he wanted.” (14)
  • “He couldn’t believe his ears.  Didn’t Tracy realize this was a dream of an invitation? From the modest look of the Atkinses’ home, she couldn’t be used to being offered fifty-dollar concert tickets.” (78)
  • “Put that in the Bruce Patman Guide to Dating, Bruce thought. Staying friends with a girl you used to date is definitely cool.” (208) YOU WILL NEVER SEE THIS GIRL AGAIN

A (Totally Unqualified) Critical Analysis:

I had never read this one, because the only person who interests me less than Bruce Patman when it comes to a Super Star book all about them is Enid (I’m dreading that one, let me tell you).  After having read this one, I feel fairly confident in saying this: Bruce Patman is a total sociopath.

Setting aside the fact that this novel’s central premise–a financial competition between two seventeen-year-olds to see who will inherit the family business YEARS FROM NOW–is so skull-crushingly STUPID that I can’t believe I read the entire thing, let alone recapped it in detail, you’re still left with the fact that everyone in the world of Sweet Valley is completely off their rockers.

Grandpa Patman is nuts.  Mr. and Mrs. Patman are either clueless or cruel.  Bruce literally displays most of the criteria of someone with antisocial personality disorder (sociopathy).  Roger is a doormat.  All of these people blow, and yet this book goes on at length about them, and we are supposed to remain engaged.

Blech.

Spoilers for Sweet Valley Confidential: One thing that I couldn’t stop thinking about the entire way through this book was that Bruce ends up with Elizabeth.  There are so many things about the SVC book that make me angry (most of them have to do with how little respect Pascal seems to have for the fans), but this is one of the things I can’t let go of.  Bruce is the literal worst, and no amount of “growing up” would erase what a terrible fucking human being he is.

Whatever.  We’re on to SVH #66: Who’s to Blame?

Super Star: Lila’s Story

30 Jan

lilasstory Estimated Elapsed Time: Something like 6-8 weeks?  SUMMER VACAY, Y’ALL.

Summary/Overview:

Lila’s got her panties in a twist because her dad is seeing a new woman and not spending enough time with her as a result. The woman in question is a beautiful lady named Joan Borden (prove it), and it turns out that she has a daughter named Jacqueline who is about Lila’s age.  Lila’s not thrilled about any of this, and she’s even less thrilled when her father sort of forces her to hang out with Jacqueline.  Lila’s sure that there’s something off about Joan and Jackie, and she decides she has to prove that they’re money-grubbing mooches.

At first, her hunch about Joan and Jackie is just based on speculation, but she starts to notice that for wealthy people, they let George Fowler pick up the check all the time.  Joan is so sweet that it crosses over into fake territory, and Jacqueline’s constant copying of Lila isn’t just cloying and annoying–it’s also creepy.

Things get worse when Joan and George return from a vacation and announce their plans to get married.  Apparently they got a deal on a rush-order wedding, because the nuptials are in three weeks.  When Lila overhears Joan talking about the fact that she’s only marrying George for his money, Lila goes to her father and tries to reason with him.  George won’t hear it, though, because Lila has been complaining about the Bordens since they arrived in her life.

Lila comes up with an elaborate plan to plant microphones in the room and get Joan to admit that she’s only in it for the alimony (someone should explain to Joan that that’s not how it works).  Lila manages to convince George with the recorded confession just in time, since Joan ‘fesses up minutes before the wedding ceremony.  George calls the whole thing off and everyone celebrates Lila.

The B-plot involves Lila’s crush on a guy named Evan.  Evan just happens to be dating a girl named Sonia, but Lila decides he’s a better match for her.  She enlists the help of Bruce Patman, because Sonia used to have a huge crush on him.  The two conspire to break them up, and because they’re awesome, they succeed.  There’s some more plot about car racing and money and favors, but it doesn’t really matter.

What does matter is that Evan has totally been cheating on Lila with Jacqueline.  Whatever, whatever, Lila ends up dating Toby, who won the drag race.  I don’t really get it, but this was all part of the story, I guess.

Trivia/Fun Facts:

  • Lila is 5’7″, which makes her slightly taller than the twins (who come in at–say it together now–5’6″).
  • According to Jessica, the sexiest car on Earth is a Lancia. You’re welcome.
  • Lila and Jacqueline have to wear peach-colored bridesmaid dresses with “little girl necklines and high waists.”  BARF.

Memorable Quotes:

  • “‘Your father’s putting us in the most gorgeous guest suite. Each of us has a bedroom and a bathroom.'” (86) [blogger’s note: George and Joan aren’t sleeping together?]
  • “There was no way Evan would borrow money from her unless he felt as serious about her as she did about him.” (114)

(Totally Unqualified) Critical Analysis:

This is the first of the Super Star books, which focus on secondary characters in the Sweet Valley world.  If all the Super Star books were like this one, I’d be a happy camper, because Lila is awesome (but I’m preaching to the choir, right?).   Even though she does some pretty shady things in this book, she still can’t hold a candle to Jessica’s constant sociopathic behavior.  And it turns out that Lila’s right about everything regarding the Bordens, so all is forgiven, right?

The only thing worth picking on in this book is how weird it is that we’re supposed to believe that George and Joan aren’t sleeping together before the wedding.  There’s nothing to indicate that the Fowlers nor the Bordens are particularly religious, and yet when Joan and Jacqueline stay over, Jacqueline talks about the fact that she and her mother have been given rooms in the guest wing.

Did this bother anyone else?  Like, why go to the trouble of pretending that sex isn’t happening?  I realize the original audience was fairly young, but there’s a ton of racier stuff in the other books.  Why wouldn’t George and Joan be sleeping together?  Why does this bother me so much?!

At any rate, I guess that helps explain their race down the aisle: they wanted to get it on.  Or whatever.